Pronouns: How to Get it Right at Work

We all likely learned in grade school that a pronoun is a word that replaces a noun in a sentence. Whether conscious or not, we frequently use pronouns when referring to others. Most often, we make immediate assumptions about the gender of another person when deciding what pronouns to use. However, this approach can lead to misidentifying someone. The experience of being addressed by incorrect pronouns can be hurtful and distracting in the workplace. Additionally, the experience of misidentifying someone can create workplace tension and lead to communication breakdowns. 

While it can be difficult to navigate how to get pronouns right in the workplace, here are ways that individuals can contribute to change until systemic changes can be implemented: 

• A great way to normalize sharing pronouns is to start by sharing yours. In meetings, introduce yourself using, “I’m Ashley and I use she/her pronouns.” Consider adding your pronouns to your email signature, Zoom name, etc. 
• Create opportunities for others to share their pronouns rather than assuming. When introducing yourself in one-on-one meetings such as interviews, try “I’m Taylor and I use they/them pronouns. How should I refer to you?” In group settings, consider beginning the meeting with a similar greeting and inviting those that wish to share to do so, “I’m Joe and I use he/him pronouns. I’d like to go around and have each person share their names and their personal pronouns.”
• Always use someone’s pronouns unless they have explicitly asked you not to. There may be a time when someone shares their identity with you but for reasons of safety are not comfortable having them public. Respect those boundaries. 
• Mistakes happen but intent matters. When an unintentional mistake is made, immediately correct yourself by using the correct pronouns. Apologize directly to the person. Help others by gently correcting them if they misgender someone. 
• If you are in a place of privilege and/or authority at work, lift this up to leadership to lead a systems change.
• Continue your learning about pronouns at https://www.mypronouns.org/ and share with others on your team. 

Ultimately, we want systemic change and to shift the burden away from LGBTQ+ team members. Individual tactics will only go so far. When in a place of authority or leadership, here are ways that organizations can develop processes to create a more inclusive environment at work: 

• Develop clear guidelines across the team about the use of pronouns, emphasizing that team members can expect their colleagues to refer to them with the correct personal pronouns. Create a way that someone can ask for help when a colleague is not doing so and ensure that there will be follow-up for any grievances. 
• Allow for employees to offer their pronouns in their email signature, Zoom name, etc. But, in an effort to create a sense of belonging, do not force the addition of pronouns. Some people will prefer to be asked and/or don’t want to draw additional attention to their pronouns. Respect these boundaries. 
• Invest in training and education from trusted experts around gender and pronouns for the entire team. 
• Consider how your organization collects data and if it is still on the gender binary. Such categories to review might induce prefixes (Mr., Mrs., etc.), gender options, etc. Ensure that you allow for all identities to be represented. 

Creating inclusive workplaces is a continuous process that will require check-ins. In addition to the tactics above, organizations should find the balance of continually refining their processes. Incorporating policies around pronouns into your way of work is not a policy you implement once and walk away from. Identities change over time. Pronouns change over time. Invest in a feedback loop to ensure you are consistently providing a sense of belonging and safety for all team members.